Seeing a dog in a funeral home is not what most people might expect — but Judy Ryave McGuire, director of aftercare and community outreach for Ralph Schugar Chapel, Inc. in Shadyside, and Laney, a 6-year-old goldendoodle, are a therapy team who provide comfort at funerals.
“Laney just knows how to comfort people just by being there,” said McGuire, who is also Laney’s owner. “She will walk up to someone who is grieving and stand next to them or put her head on their lap or go and sit at their feet. When they look at her, it’s like they know she’s here for them. Laney absorbs some of the grief and sadness.”
Laney, certified through Therapy Dogs International, was trained at Misty Pines Pet Company in Wexford.
McGuire recalled specific moments helping families say final goodbyes to their loved ones for the past three years with Laney by her side.
It was McGuire’s idea to bring Laney to the funeral home. Her presence is one of the options families have when planning a service at Ralph Schugar Chapel.
Soxman Funeral Homes, Ltd., in Penn Hills also gives families this option.
Soxman has a bereavement care dog named Lilo. The service dog is a yellow Labrador retriever, trained through the Perfect Fit Canines Service Dog Program in Wilkinsburg.
Courtesy of Lauren Pearlman Photography
Lilo is a 6-year-old yellow Labrador retriever and bereavement care service dog at Soxman Funeral Homes, Ltd., in Penn Hills.
According to Canine Journal, therapy dogs are trained to provide comfort and affection to people in hospice, disaster areas, retirement homes, hospitals, nursing homes, schools and more. Service dogs are certified and trained to help people with disabilities, such as visual impairments, mental illnesses, seizure disorders, diabetes, and more. An emotional support animal provides their owners with therapeutic benefits through companionship. They do not require training, but you may be screened by a mental health professional to see if you qualify.
“We continually look for better ways to serve our families,” said Anna F. Zvirman-Nesbit, of Plum, who co-owns Soxman Funeral Homes with Brian T. Soxman.
Zvirman-Nesbit said during the 2020 pandemic, more people brought dogs into their homes and that dogs give an added element of comfort and familiarity. She said Lilo quietly “works the room,” and that her presence is definitely felt.
Lilo, who turned 6 on Aug. 1, is considered an employee and has scheduled days off.
Memorable interactions
Zvirman-Nesbit recalled a time when the dog helped a little girl whose aunt had died.
”I told the little girl that Lilo feels sad too,” Zvirman-Nesbit said. “I watched the little girl slide off the couch and sit on the floor with Lilo. The little girl gave Lilo a hug. I believe that little girl will remember that interaction forever.”
A similar scene occurred at Ralph Schugar Chapel.
There was apprehension about Laney being in attendance for the funeral last year for Fred Davis, the husband of Barbara Davis of Squirrel Hill. Davis knew her grandson Jason was not fond of dogs.
“I told my daughter, ‘Laney is different,’ ” Davis said. “Some people might say Laney is just a dog but Laney calms people and has a sense of what’s happening around her.”
And Davis was right — Laney was by her grandson’s side the entire time.
“It was comforting to have Laney with us,” Davis said. “Laney has the right temperament. She just looks at you like ‘I am here to help you.’ My grandson has told us several times, ‘I had Laney with me.’ ”
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop | TribLive
Judy Ryave McGuire talks about her position as the director of aftercare and community outreach at Ralph Schugar Chapel in Shadyside. She and Laney, a goldendoodle, are a certified therapy team that helps people grieving the loss of a loved one.
Most families choose to have the dog present, McGuire and Zvirman-Nesbit said. Both also respect that it’s not for everyone.
McGuire remembered a time when Laney wasn’t there.
“I can’t tell you how many people came in and asked about the dog,” McGuire said. “I just say today she’s having a spa day. I think it’s more they love seeing her and they’re disappointed when she’s not here.”
Not everything meaningful is always measurable
There is a unique aspect to what McGuire and Laney are doing, said Dr. Alan Wolfelt, director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Colorado, where McGuire trained for her position at the funeral home. Wolfelt said he wasn’t aware of any statistics relating to whether having a therapy dog is helpful, but that “not everything meaningful is always measurable.”
“Judy knows about grief and compassion and that aligns beautifully with a well-trained therapy dog,” Wolfelt said. “She and Laney are there for support and nurturing when people need it the most.”
McGuire said she and Laney will wait inside the front door, other times they go into the chapel. There are occasions when they sit with the family in the front row of pews during a service as well as during the visitation prior to the funeral service.
Having a therapy dog at a funeral home gives people a few minutes of focus on something besides the grief, said Randy Anderson, past president of the National Funeral Directors Association.
Anderson has a therapy dog named Radley, a goldendoodle, at his funeral home.
“People come in just to pet the dog,” Anderson said. “We had one lady come to pick up a death certificate for a loved one and Radley immediately went to her. These dogs just know what people need.”
Comforting the staff
Anderson recalled a staff member who lost a loved one. When that person came back to work, Radley went directly to them. Comforting the staff is an added benefit of having the dogs McGuire, Zvirman-Nesbit and Anderson both agreed. Staff also can experience emotional stress working in a funeral home, so self-care is important too, Anderson said. Anderson purchased stuffed animal puppies that look like goldendoodles and gives them to children.
Massoud Hossaini | TribLive
Therapy dog Laney at Ralph Schugar Chapel, Inc. in Shadyside.
McGuire said people are anxious about coming into a funeral home, especially if they just buried a loved one and are returning for the first time.
“I’ll see somebody coming in and I know we’ve just buried one of their loved ones,” said McGuire. “I usually know and if I know I’ll make sure I give them a little special extra attention and we’ll be here to help ease them into the building.
“Laney brings comfort to people who are uncomfortable in a funeral home, which is a very valid discomfort,” said McGuire. “And she helps me to do my job better. It’s like a puzzle. It just all fits together right.”
Laney was invited to Temple Emanuel of South Hills for Rosh Hashanah services. On a YouTube video, Rabbi Aaron Meyer said, “Laney is a resource to those who are navigating grief. When a child breaks down from the pain of loss, Laney is there to put a head in their lap. When adults need a respite from the crushing emotions of the moment, Laney is by their side.”
Lani can experience positive and negative feelings, pleasure and pain, joy and distress, right alongside us, Meyer said.
“And I don’t think that it’s an overstatement to say that Laney understands and can respond to human beings better than some human beings themselves,” Meyer said. “This makes her an invaluable support for those who are grieving loss.”
A caregiver’s heart
McGuire provides a continuum of care, said Sharon Ryave Brody, licensed funeral director, owner and president at Ralph Schugar Chapel. McGuire helps to shine a light on the right path to go on and these families feel like they don’t have to feel lost and go it alone, Brody said.
“Judy is a warm, loving person and a perfect fit for our funeral home family and our family and Laney too,” Brody said. “Laney puts people at ease. Both are gentle and loving. It’s a win-win combination of comfort and care.”
This job is about having a caregiver’s heart, McGuire said.
“There’s a difference between grief and mourning,” McGuire said. “Grief is the inner pain that you feel when you’ve lost someone. Mourning is the outward expression so if you aren’t able to express it that pain hardens and can get worse — and it can affect every part of your being.”
When Maxine K. Orringer of the North Hills lost her husband in 2023, McGuire and Laney comforted her.
“Judy is such a lovely woman,” Orringer said. “She and Laney are fantastic. Judy has called to check up on me. Losing my husband was like losing a limb. I tell people all the time to hug the people you love and appreciate them every single day because you never know when they will be gone.”
Orringer said Laney has the ability to pick up on vibes that humans can’t.
“Laney sat with me,” Orringer said. “I think the whole idea of losing a loved one and going to a funeral home is a surreal experience. But when I walked through the door and saw Judy and Laney they brought a lot of comfort. It was interesting to see how people respond to Laney and it is amazing that they offer that.”
When Orringer was pre-planning her own funeral, Laney happened to be in the funeral home. The dog gave Orringer some comfort then as well, she said.
“Anything that can make this situation easier is wonderful,” Orringer said.
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a TribLive reporter covering the region’s diverse culinary scene and unique homes. She writes features about interesting people. The Edward R. Murrow award-winning journalist began her career as a sports reporter. She has been with the Trib for 26 years and is the author of “A Daughter’s Promise.” She can be reached at [email protected].
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Publish date : 2024-08-25 05:01:00
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