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Over the past several months, members of the Braver Angels East Central Illinois Alliance have taken turns writing this bi-weekly column. In today’s column, they — and other members — share their thoughts about the organization.
They explain why they joined, what they’ve gotten out of the group and their hopes for Braver Angels — and our country — moving forward.
Lesley Dzik
Jenna Purnell
LESLEY DZIK
“I joined Braver Angels because the civility and respect I saw at the campus/community town hall, “Building a House United,” held at the I Hotel in February 2023 was so refreshing and hope-inspiring that I wanted to experience more. I got off the fence about joining as a paying member when I saw that the only way I would be able to participate in a red/blue one-on-one conversation through BA was by joining.
“I attended my first East Central Illinois Alliance meeting on a Tuesday, joined by the weekend, was paired with a blue and had my red/blue conversation by the next Monday. It went so well that we scheduled a second talk for the next day. It wasn’t until we had a successful conversation about our different views — no name-calling, no shouting, no insults — that I realized how much I had been missing prior to finding others who communicate ‘the BA way.’
“I’ve always known that diversity has the potential to make any body stronger, but the past year of conversations and collaboration with others in Braver Angels have demonstrated it to me in a powerful new way. Braver Angels principles have allowed me to reclaim a vast space in which to talk, think, and consider diverse opinions and views in a safe way.”
Betty Zeedyk
BETTY ZEEDYK
“I know many good, decent people. Both Republicans and Democrats. And sometimes I just cannot understand how and why they think what they do.
“Braver Angels encourages me to learn to listen and at least try to understand another’s point of view. Most of the time, we find we are more alike than we realized.”
Marc Ansel
MARC ANSEL
“I joined Braver Angels because I believe in our democracy, and I believe that democracy can only survive when there is dialogue and debate about the issues of the day.
“I also joined Braver Angels because I am always interested in learning more about the issues, and I am fascinated by the views and perspectives of people who think differently than I do.
“Another reason I joined is my belief that our current focus on our differences has led us to forget what we have in common, and Braver Angels is committed to finding and reminding us of that common ground.”
Annette Lansford
ANNETTE LANSFORD
“I became interested in Braver Angels because of my great concern about the divisiveness and lack of tolerance for other opinions that we are seeing in this country.
“We must learn to act civilly and respect each other, and remember that we are all Americans.”
Michael Trout
MICHAEL TROUT
“Before I ever heard of Braver Angels, I had spent decades adhering to the discipline of my profession that called for never arguing with a patient, keeping my own feelings in check (while never denying that I had them), and working hard to understand why the words of another rang true to the other person (no matter how irrational they may have seemed to me).
“This became so second nature to me that I had trouble understanding any other way of being with people. I found it almost bizarre that such common courtesy was not the order of the day in everyday conversation about, for example, politics, child-rearing or religion.
“So, I was bowled over when I discovered Braver Angels, and the principles espoused by its founders and members. This was a group that actually set out to listen for the purpose of understanding better — and not to concoct a retort.
“These were people who had set aside their need to win, or even to convince. They weren’t weak. They weren’t just capitulating to others all the time. They were people of principle. I came to know what strength it takes to live by ‘The Braver Way.’”
Rich Montgomery
RICH MONTGOMERY
“My greatest takeaway from joining Braver Angels is learning the importance of in-person conversations as opposed to impersonal email or social-media dialogues.
“I find myself being pleasantly surprised to discover that people with political views diametrically opposed to mine — who actually can come off as abrasive and close-minded via written communications — are actually warm and friendly and surprisingly engaging and educational to talk to in person.
“I’ve definitely learned a lot about unconsciously stereotyping people simply because of their political views.”
Dave Barr
DAVE BARR
“I got involved with Braver Angels because I believe in the last several years we have lost our collective mind. The extremes have gotten control of both sides. There is no middle ground anymore.
“Pick a side — shirts vs skins. The goal is to yell louder than the other side. Braver Angels offers a refreshingly sane way to have a respectful conversation.
“You may be shocked to find out the other side are decent human beings trying to find a solution to the same problem you are. You may be even be more shocked to find out they have some good thoughts. And I believe a key to solving problems is connecting people. Braver Angels does this.”
Sara Kelley
Provided
SARA KELLEY
“I have always had family members and friends who vote differently than I do. And in fact, we often discussed our different points of view and still maintained close ties. It was a good intellectual exercise.
“But everything seemed to change leading up to the 2016 election. Politics was not only dividing our country but those we love. Our priorities seemed terribly misplaced.
“I first learned of Braver Angels in early 2021. I was curious about what this national organization could offer me as an individual living in central Illinois. Its mission and the opportunities it provided were exactly what I was looking for — the chance to learn about other political points of view in a way that felt structured and safe.
“Joining BA caused me to assess my own words and actions and how I might unintentionally be adding to the political divide. I have expanded my source of news, trying to find more balance and limiting time with outlets that are highly partisan.
“I have learned to resist the temptation of stereotyping people who may vote differently than me. We may differ on the policy but not necessarily the issues. I have learned to ask more questions, listen more and judge less.”
Matt Hausman
MATT HAUSMAN
“I first joined Braver Angels because I was brought up with the belief that people could have vigorous good-faith disagreements but still respect and care for one another. It seemed like our society had lost the ability to do that, and I was happy to join an organization working to address that head on.
“In the years since I joined, it has been so refreshing to engage in strong and lively debates, where frustration and disagreement still exists, but the mutual respect and good faith that we encourage maintain the relationships and civility.”
Paula Strong
PAULA STRONG
“I joined Braver Angels so that I could learn how to continue a conversation with someone who disagrees with me politically, instead of changing the subject.
“It’s a hard thing to do, especially because I’m the type of person who avoids conflict.”
Pattsi Petrie
PATTSI PETRIE
“As a country, there has been a movement toward drawing a line in the sand, diminishing opportunity for conversations to exchange ideas, opinions, facts and arguments. We have put in timeout the skills to listen and not talk over others.
“Braver Angels teaches us to listen, to process what is said and keep an open perspective — whether we agree or not. It’s easy to say but hard to do — and amazing when it happens.
“There’s no shortage of issues. And the world does not implode.”
Peggy Prichard
Provided
PEGGY PRICHARD
“I joined Braver Angels with the hope of meeting others who accept that people are more than who they vote for. I was tired of the judgment and hatred directed at people simply because they aligned with ‘the other’ party.
“I knew that there were others who felt the same way. In addition to learning better ways to communicate with people we disagree with, I’ve made some amazing friends.
“We don’t try to change each other’s mind; we don’t argue with or shame each other. We can talk about issues without making it personal. There are a lot of forces trying to divide our country but if we take the time to get to know the person — not just how they vote — we can make great progress in healing that divide.”
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Publish date : 2024-09-23 22:44:00
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